Eaten to death.

weapon-of-mass-destruction

Frustratingly, the concoction of medicines that I am taking, have various side effects.

Which incluse:

  • Drowsiness, (when I already suffer from fatigue) causing lack of exercise.
  • Increased appetite (when I already comfort eat with my depression).
  • Slow metabolism (which I already have from my polycystic ovaries).
  • Water retention.
  • Some can even cause depression (which I am already diagnosed with).

These are just some. Basically, I have gained a lot of weight, which is really starting to bother me and become a huge issue.

Because of my anxiety, I often start too hot, over-heating and perspiring under stressful situations.

I then worry, that strangers think I am sweating just because I’m fat and unfit. I feel that they look at me in disgust.

I only really leave my house, to go to 1 of my 4 comfort zones. (Parents, doctor’s, neighbour’s and work).

When I’m at work, I stay in my own area of the building, I very rarely go in the staff room, and I never eat any lunch. The thought of eating in front of people scares me. I’m sure they can just see an overweight pig eating from a trough. Because that’s how I see me.

I have a spare diary (page-a-day type) and I have decided to keep a daily food journal to help cut down on my food intake / calories.

My first weigh-in and food log starts in the morning (Monday 20th July 2015).

I HAVE to do this, as part of my whole confidence / self esteem boost. xxx

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11 thoughts on “Eaten to death.

  1. I love reading your posts because everything you write rings so true to me!
    The god damn Mirtazapine made me gain weight so drastically, I’ve lost a tiny bit since coming off it, but like you I also comfort eat. Badly.

    I don’t stop for anything, so since I have been in this bad spell recently anything healthy has gone out the window pfft. Usually I try and eat as much fresh fruit and natural things as possible but I’ve said sod that for the moment.

    You will do brilliantly I am sure, there are also some very handy apps for recording what you eat if you are out and not carrying your diary with you. Best of luck, I am rooting for you xxx J

    Liked by 1 person

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