Life is a bully, that stabs my heart,
the blood pours out, it’s torn apart.
Life is a bully, that punches my soul,
makes it ache, takes it’s toll.
Life is a bully, that confuses my head,
makes me believe, I want to be dead.
Life is a bully, that ruins my dreams,
makes me angry, holler and scream.
Life is a bully, that will just keep on,
until it’s the winner and I am gone.
I tried so hard to smile today,
to keep my sorrow locked away.
But the comment you made, cut me down,
wiped my smile and made me frown.
The way you spoke behind my back,
gave my heart a hefty whack.
I’ve always tried to give and please,
I don’t understand, your need to tease.
When you stared at me, I held back tears,
I felt surrounded by my fears,
I’m filled with dread, I want to run,
far away from everyone.
I hurt, I hurt, emotionally,
I am not who I want to be.
Life took my soul, I’m an empty shell,
A depression hole, into which I fell.
The constant aches and tiring pain,
means I’ve fell back down again.
Naughtily, I stopped my meds,
they just kept messing with my head.
It hurts to move, or sit up straight,
can’t sleep at night, ‘mind’ working late.
My breathing struggles, I hear the wheeze,
I wish the tightness, would start to ease.
I’m broken and faulty, do not repair,
My mind is blank, I sit and stare.
Confused and tired, feeling low,
a one-way ticket, off I go.
It’s been a while, since I’ve been here,
I’ve had a change in my career.
Through the stress, I’ve kept my cool,
my son is starting, a different school.
Kids that bully, are cruel and mean,
a huge difference, in my son I’ve seen.
Quiet and withdrawn, in his room,
his smile has gone, replaced with gloom.
The bullies made us move away,
my son’s new school, will start Monday.
I hope a fresh start, will do him good,
I’d banish bullies, if I could.
It breaks my heart, to see him sad,
he’s such a loving, giving lad.
My other son, has moved back home,
hogging bathroom, food and phone.
My full time job and a house of seven,
is certainly not my idea of heaven.
My calender is full, everyday,
I’d like some ‘me time’ if I may?
My request unheard, I start the chores,
washing clothes and cleaning floors.
The doorbell rings, the phone does too,
my house is busier, than a zoo.
Friends staying over, and visitors here,
I long to have a day that’s clear.
My health has suffered, from the strain,
Especially, comfort eating, weight gain.
Sat here staring into space,
with no expression on my face.
My head is resting, on my left palm,
I’m writing this, with my other arm.
Pointless poem, I’m waffling on,
because all my other, thoughts have gone.
It’s now 5am, I’ve not yet slept,
my sleep allowance, is now in debt.
In boredom, I make a cup of tea,
then I make a discovery.
I thought I’d been alone all night,
till a Little fella’ caught my sight.
Normally, he would have met my shoe,
but I’m far too tired, to even say boo.
So today he lives, he’s not yet dead,
but he will be, if he gets in my bed.
Lucky spider, on the wall,
I should have squashed you, as a rule.
When a friend’s in pain, it hurts my heart,
especially when we’re so far apart.
I could help support, if I was near,
instead of just being, a listening ear.
I send ‘best wishes’, fingers crossed,
no-one should feel, alone and lost.
I want to help, but don’t know how,
I wish things were better, for you right now.
I will always be here, checking on you,
between the both of us, we’ll pull you through.
I send to you, virtual flowers,
I’ll chat again, next visiting hours.
(SmileBE4Tears) xxx😊☺
I have recently purchased a fantastic book, that relates to the emotions and thoughts that depression can cause us. This book has been very helpful to me, I quite often re-read some of the verses.
I have thoroughly enjoyed, reading the beautifully written and heartfelt poems. Such an inspirational young lady. It’s definitely a book I would recommend.
I can understand why it has a 5 star rating !
Xx😀xx
I’m going to try, my very best,
put my strength, to the test.
Fight my demons, head held high,
ban the tears, from my eye.
Copy the courage, my friend has shown,
SmileBe4Tears, your strength has grown.
Determination, I will find,
by searching through, my stubborn mind.
I need to start, my fight today,
starting now, without delay.
Push through the pain and anxiety,
find the true Jayne, lost inside me.
To step outside and breathe the air,
live peacefully, without a care.
Helping others, along my way,
taking each step, day by day.
Reclaim my life and live once more,
this time I’ll be braver, than before.
Missing! ‘My Happiness’,
If you have it, please confess.
It was my friend, we played in the park,
now it’s gone, my life is dark.
For hours, we would laugh non-stop,
buy ice cream with a Flake on top.
On the swings and down the slide,
‘Happiness’ was by my side.
Cinema, popcorn, movie too,
‘Happiness’ was real and true.
Cycling to the sweetie shop,
It always shared my chocolate drop.
We’d read a comic, page by page,
but ‘happiness’ faded, as I aged.
Caution : Trigger warning
Tonight my mind is rather morbid,
but I think my thoughts, should be recorded.
If my heart, should stop its beat,
please let my soul and angels meet.
If I jump, and the rope pulls tight,
I won’t be putting up a fight.
If I drown, and airways close,
place in the morgue, name tag on toes.
If my cut wrist, bleeds non-stop,
let it flow, till the final drop.
If I jump off, from way up high,
I hope the world, will pass on by.
If the dose of pills, is way too much,
leave me till, I’m cold to touch.
Only I, know the true me. 